hurt. just because i’m pregnant doesn’t mean that i don’t want to go out. christ, an invite would have been nice.
pregnancy is shit, i can’t drink, smoke, or eat a lot of food, and now i can’t have sex anymore. whoever said pregnancy is beautiful was definitely a man.
i need help.
my blog isn’t really a blog anymore. i just post pictures. wtf is that?
just going to cut my losses and drop out.
- maybe
- i don’t know
- got to talk to a programs advisor
- apparently being in hospital isn’t mitigating
- they think i have pre-eclampsia
i’m terrified of being a mother. really terrified. i don’t think i’ll be doing a MA degree, because it’s not feasible with a child, i really need to get into work as quickly as i can. i thought that being able to finish my degree would make me feel ok, but now, all i’m thinking is, i’m trapped. i’m trapped and i’m trying to make it all work, and me be happy. i can’t stand the position i’m in. some days i feel really happy, but i’m in lala land. and honestly, i feel like a failure. i feel like i’m not enough for my fiance, or my baby. i feel useless, so completely and utterly useless.
